this is fucken insane... why is this place so freaken horrible... i hate it... if someone's not suffering they have problems, or dieing...

last month we got a phone call from san francisco saying that my 21 year old nephew was killed... so wel all got in the van and attended his funeral... poor kid... it was his birthday... i kept in contact with him thru emails and he always sounded to me like a happy kid... but when i had a talk with my cousin (his mom)... she told me that he tried to commit suicide three times, and always suffered from depression... i never knew... if i knew i would of went to go pick him up and had him living with me... but i had no clue... one day he was looking for his best friend... he didn't find him at his house... then he took off... he would never take off byhimself... and that day they found him dead in his own car... they shot him on the chest... they said some nigger did it... rest in piece bobby... i will always love and remember you...

now today about 10 minutes ago my cousin just died... a close one... he used to live with us... i guess after he got problems with his wife and stuff he started drinking... and today at 2.34 pm he passed away... i just got the call from mexico... oh yeah... he lives down in el grullo, jalisco... poor guy... he was 36 years old... and i can't go to his funeral... this really sucks... this is i guess how it goes when you have a gigantic family... the older you get, the more funerals you get... and what i have noticed that the ones that die first are always the good ones... this sucks... rest in piece gilberto... i will always love and remember you...

i can go on for days... but i can't...

gumbii...